A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
Robert Frost
A civilized society is one which tolerates eccentricity to the point of doubtful sanity.
Robert Frost
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
Robert Frost
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost
A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
Robert Frost
A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.
Robert Frost
A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone.
Robert Frost
A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness.
Robert Frost
A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom.
Robert Frost
A poet never takes notes. You never take notes in a love affair.
Robert Frost
A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman.
Robert Frost
Always fall in with what you're asked to accept. Take what is given, and make it over your way. My aim in life has always been to hold my own with whatever's going. Not against: with.
Robert Frost
And were an epitaph to be my story I'd have a short one ready for my own. I would have written of me on my stone: I had a lover's quarrel with the world.
Robert Frost
Being the boss anywhere is lonely. Being a female boss in a world of mostly men is especially so.
Robert Frost
But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.
Robert Frost
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
Robert Frost
College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
Robert Frost
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
Robert Frost
Education doesn't change life much. It just lifts trouble to a higher plane of regard.
Robert Frost
Education is hanging around until you've caught on.
Robert Frost
Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.
Robert Frost
Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense.
Robert Frost
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
Robert Frost
Freedom lies in being bold.
Robert Frost
Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.
Robert Frost
Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.
Robert Frost
Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
Robert Frost
Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.
Robert Frost
Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
Robert Frost
I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense.
Robert Frost
I always entertain great hopes.
Robert Frost
I am a writer of books in retrospect. I talk in order to understand; I teach in order to learn.
Robert Frost
I go to school the youth to learn the future.
Robert Frost
I had a lovers quarrel with the world.
Robert Frost
I have never started a poem yet whose end I knew. Writing a poem is discovering.
Robert Frost
I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way.
Robert Frost
I never dared to be radical when young for fear it would make me conservative when old.
Robert Frost
I often say of George Washington that he was one of the few in the whole history of the world who was not carried away by power.
Robert Frost
I would have written of me on my stone: I had a lover's quarrel with the world.
Robert Frost
I'd just as soon play tennis with the net down.
Robert Frost
I'm not confused. I'm just well mixed.
Robert Frost
If one by one we counted people out For the least sin, it wouldn't take us long To get so we had no one left to live with. For to be social is to be forgiving.
Robert Frost
If society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom.
Robert Frost
If you don't know how great this country is, I know someone who does; Russia.
Robert Frost
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
Robert Frost
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Robert Frost
Let him that is without stone among you cast the first thing he can lay his hands on.
Robert Frost
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
Robert Frost
Modern poets talk against business, poor things, but all of us write for money. Beginners are subjected to trial by market.
Robert Frost
Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.
Robert Frost
My sorrow, when she's here with me, thinks these dark days of autumn rain are beautiful as days can be; she loves the bare, the withered tree; she walks the sodden pasture lane.
Robert Frost
No memory of having starred atones for later disregard, or keeps the end from being hard.
Robert Frost
No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader.
Robert Frost
Nobody was ever meant, To remember or invent, What he did with every cent.
Robert Frost
Nothing can make injustice just but mercy.
Robert Frost
One aged man - one man - can't fill a house.
Robert Frost
Poetry is a way of taking life by the throat.
Robert Frost
Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance.
Robert Frost
Poetry is what gets lost in translation.
Robert Frost
Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.
Robert Frost
Poets are like baseball pitchers. Both have their moments. The intervals are the tough things.
Robert Frost
Pressed into service means pressed out of shape.
Robert Frost
Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice.
Robert Frost
Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space.
Robert Frost
Style is that which indicates how the writer takes himself and what he is saying. It is the mind skating circles around itself as it moves forward.
Robert Frost
Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on.
Robert Frost
Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second.
Robert Frost
The artist in me cries out for design.
Robert Frost
The best things and best people rise out of their separateness; I'm against a homogenized society because I want the cream to rise.
Robert Frost
The best way out is always through.
Robert Frost
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
Robert Frost
The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything.
Robert Frost
The ear is the only true writer and the only true reader.
Robert Frost
The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat.
Robert Frost
The figure a poem makes. It begins in delight and ends in wisdom... in a clarification of life - not necessarily a great clarification, such as sects and cults are founded on, but in a momentary stay against confusion.
Robert Frost
The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended-and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended.
Robert Frost
The jury consist of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost
The middle of the road is where the white line is - and that's the worst place to drive.
Robert Frost
The only certain freedom's in departure.
Robert Frost
The only way round is through.
Robert Frost
The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
Robert Frost
The strongest and most effective force in guaranteeing the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated, but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination.
Robert Frost
The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.
Robert Frost
The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.
Robert Frost
The worst disease which can afflict executives in their work is not, as popularly supposed, alcoholism; it's egotism.
Robert Frost
There are two kinds of teachers: the kind that fill you with so much quail shot that you can't move, and the kind that just gives you a little prod behind and you jump to the skies.
Robert Frost
There never was any heart truly great and generous, that was not also tender and compassionate.
Robert Frost
They would not find me changed from him they knew - only more sure of all I thought was true.
Robert Frost
Thinking isn't agreeing or disagreeing. That's voting.
Robert Frost
To be a poet is a condition, not a profession.
Robert Frost
To be social is to be forgiving.
Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a wood and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
Two such as you with such a master speed, cannot be parted nor be swept away, from one another once you are agreed, that life is only life forevermore, together wing to wing and oar to oar.
Robert Frost
We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the secret sits in the middle and knows.
Robert Frost
What we live by we die by.
Robert Frost
Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.
Robert Frost
You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country.
Robert Frost
You can be a rank insider as well as a rank outsider.
Robert Frost
You can't get too much winter in the winter.
Robert Frost
You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's.
Robert Frost
You have freedom when you're easy in your harness.
Robert Frost
Showing posts with label Great Quotations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Great Quotations. Show all posts
Sunday 6 March 2011
Maya Angelou
Achievement brings its own anticlimax.
Maya Angelou
All great achievements require time.
Maya Angelou
All men are prepared to accomplish the incredible if their ideals are threatened.
Maya Angelou
Any book that helps a child to form a habit of reading, to make reading one of his deep and continuing needs, is good for him.
Maya Angelou
As far as I knew white women were never lonely, except in books. White men adored them, Black men desired them and Black women worked for them.
Maya Angelou
At fifteen life had taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance, especially if one had no choice.
Maya Angelou
Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.
Maya Angelou
Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
Maya Angelou
Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can't practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.
Maya Angelou
Effective action is always unjust.
Maya Angelou
For Africa to me... is more than a glamorous fact. It is a historical truth. No man can know where he is going unless he knows exactly where he has been and exactly how he arrived at his present place.
Maya Angelou
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
Maya Angelou
How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes!
Maya Angelou
I believe that every person is born with talent.
Maya Angelou
I believe we are still so innocent. The species are still so innocent that a person who is apt to be murdered believes that the murderer, just before he puts the final wrench on his throat, will have enough compassion to give him one sweet cup of water.
Maya Angelou
I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.
Maya Angelou
I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.
Maya Angelou
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
Maya Angelou
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Maya Angelou
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.
Maya Angelou
If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities.
Maya Angelou
If we lose love and self respect for each other, this is how we finally die.
Maya Angelou
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.
Maya Angelou
If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
Maya Angelou
If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.
Maya Angelou
It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength.
Maya Angelou
Life loves the liver of it.
Maya Angelou
Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: "I'm with you kid. Let's go."
Maya Angelou
Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time.
Maya Angelou
Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at it destination full of hope.
Maya Angelou
Most plain girls are virtuous because of the scarcity of opportunity to be otherwise.
Maya Angelou
Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.
Maya Angelou
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
Maya Angelou
My life has been one great big joke, a dance that's walked a song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I think about myself.
Maya Angelou
My mother said I must always be intolerant of ignorance but understanding of illiteracy. That some people, unable to go to school, were more educated and more intelligent than college professors.
Maya Angelou
Nothing will work unless you do.
Maya Angelou
One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.
Maya Angelou
Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.
Maya Angelou
Prejudice is a burden that confuses the past, threatens the future and renders the present inaccessible.
Maya Angelou
Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
Maya Angelou
Some critics will write 'Maya Angelou is a natural writer' - which is right after being a natural heart surgeon.
Maya Angelou
The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.
Maya Angelou
The fact that the adult American Negro female emerges a formidable character is often met with amazement, distaste and even belligerance. It is seldom accepted as an inevitable outcome of the struggle won by survivors, and deserves respect if not enthusiastic acceptance.
Maya Angelou
The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.
Maya Angelou
The need for change bulldozed road down the center of my mind.
Maya Angelou
The sadness of the women's movement is that they don't allow the necessity of love. See, I don't personally trust any revolution where love is not allowed.
Maya Angelou
There is a very fine line between loving life and being greedy for it.
Maya Angelou
There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
Maya Angelou
There is nothing so pitiful as a young cynic because he has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing.
Maya Angelou
There's a world of difference between truth and facts. Facts can obscure the truth.
Maya Angelou
We allow our ignorance to prevail upon us and make us think we can survive alone, alone in patches, alone in groups, alone in races, even alone in genders.
Maya Angelou
We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.
Maya Angelou
While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God's creation.
Maya Angelou
While the rest of the world has been improving technology, Ghana has been improving the quality of man's humanity to man.
Maya Angelou
Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning.
Maya Angelou
Maya Angelou
All great achievements require time.
Maya Angelou
All men are prepared to accomplish the incredible if their ideals are threatened.
Maya Angelou
Any book that helps a child to form a habit of reading, to make reading one of his deep and continuing needs, is good for him.
Maya Angelou
As far as I knew white women were never lonely, except in books. White men adored them, Black men desired them and Black women worked for them.
Maya Angelou
At fifteen life had taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance, especially if one had no choice.
Maya Angelou
Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.
Maya Angelou
Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
Maya Angelou
Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can't practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.
Maya Angelou
Effective action is always unjust.
Maya Angelou
For Africa to me... is more than a glamorous fact. It is a historical truth. No man can know where he is going unless he knows exactly where he has been and exactly how he arrived at his present place.
Maya Angelou
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
Maya Angelou
How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes!
Maya Angelou
I believe that every person is born with talent.
Maya Angelou
I believe we are still so innocent. The species are still so innocent that a person who is apt to be murdered believes that the murderer, just before he puts the final wrench on his throat, will have enough compassion to give him one sweet cup of water.
Maya Angelou
I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.
Maya Angelou
I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.
Maya Angelou
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
Maya Angelou
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Maya Angelou
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.
Maya Angelou
If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities.
Maya Angelou
If we lose love and self respect for each other, this is how we finally die.
Maya Angelou
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.
Maya Angelou
If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
Maya Angelou
If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.
Maya Angelou
It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength.
Maya Angelou
Life loves the liver of it.
Maya Angelou
Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: "I'm with you kid. Let's go."
Maya Angelou
Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time.
Maya Angelou
Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at it destination full of hope.
Maya Angelou
Most plain girls are virtuous because of the scarcity of opportunity to be otherwise.
Maya Angelou
Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.
Maya Angelou
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
Maya Angelou
My life has been one great big joke, a dance that's walked a song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I think about myself.
Maya Angelou
My mother said I must always be intolerant of ignorance but understanding of illiteracy. That some people, unable to go to school, were more educated and more intelligent than college professors.
Maya Angelou
Nothing will work unless you do.
Maya Angelou
One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.
Maya Angelou
Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.
Maya Angelou
Prejudice is a burden that confuses the past, threatens the future and renders the present inaccessible.
Maya Angelou
Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
Maya Angelou
Some critics will write 'Maya Angelou is a natural writer' - which is right after being a natural heart surgeon.
Maya Angelou
The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.
Maya Angelou
The fact that the adult American Negro female emerges a formidable character is often met with amazement, distaste and even belligerance. It is seldom accepted as an inevitable outcome of the struggle won by survivors, and deserves respect if not enthusiastic acceptance.
Maya Angelou
The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.
Maya Angelou
The need for change bulldozed road down the center of my mind.
Maya Angelou
The sadness of the women's movement is that they don't allow the necessity of love. See, I don't personally trust any revolution where love is not allowed.
Maya Angelou
There is a very fine line between loving life and being greedy for it.
Maya Angelou
There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
Maya Angelou
There is nothing so pitiful as a young cynic because he has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing.
Maya Angelou
There's a world of difference between truth and facts. Facts can obscure the truth.
Maya Angelou
We allow our ignorance to prevail upon us and make us think we can survive alone, alone in patches, alone in groups, alone in races, even alone in genders.
Maya Angelou
We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.
Maya Angelou
While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God's creation.
Maya Angelou
While the rest of the world has been improving technology, Ghana has been improving the quality of man's humanity to man.
Maya Angelou
Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning.
Maya Angelou
Mitch Hedberg
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
Mitch Hedberg
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
Mitch Hedberg
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Mitch Hedberg
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
Mitch Hedberg
Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes.
Mitch Hedberg
Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.
Mitch Hedberg
Dogs are forever in the push up postion.
Mitch Hedberg
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
Mitch Hedberg
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
Mitch Hedberg
Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
Mitch Hedberg
I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
Mitch Hedberg
I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.
Mitch Hedberg
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Mitch Hedberg
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
Mitch Hedberg
I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
Mitch Hedberg
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
Mitch Hedberg
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
Mitch Hedberg
I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.
Mitch Hedberg
I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.
Mitch Hedberg
I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
Mitch Hedberg
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Mitch Hedberg
I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.
Mitch Hedberg
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
Mitch Hedberg
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Mitch Hedberg
I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.
Mitch Hedberg
I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary.
Mitch Hedberg
I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
Mitch Hedberg
I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day.
Mitch Hedberg
I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.
Mitch Hedberg
I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
Mitch Hedberg
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
Mitch Hedberg
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
Mitch Hedberg
I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
Mitch Hedberg
I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.
Mitch Hedberg
I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.
Mitch Hedberg
I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
Mitch Hedberg
I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.
Mitch Hedberg
I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
Mitch Hedberg
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
Mitch Hedberg
I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.
Mitch Hedberg
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.
Mitch Hedberg
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
Mitch Hedberg
If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.
Mitch Hedberg
If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.
Mitch Hedberg
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
Mitch Hedberg
It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.
Mitch Hedberg
It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?
Mitch Hedberg
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
Mitch Hedberg
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'
Mitch Hedberg
My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.
Mitch Hedberg
People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.
Mitch Hedberg
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
Mitch Hedberg
Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1000 of something is too many. I'll have 1000 pieces of noodles.
Mitch Hedberg
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Mitch Hedberg
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
Mitch Hedberg
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
Mitch Hedberg
When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
Mitch Hedberg
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!
Mitch Hedberg
Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.
Mitch Hedberg
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
Mitch Hedberg
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Mitch Hedberg
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
Mitch Hedberg
Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes.
Mitch Hedberg
Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.
Mitch Hedberg
Dogs are forever in the push up postion.
Mitch Hedberg
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
Mitch Hedberg
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
Mitch Hedberg
Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
Mitch Hedberg
I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
Mitch Hedberg
I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.
Mitch Hedberg
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Mitch Hedberg
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
Mitch Hedberg
I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
Mitch Hedberg
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
Mitch Hedberg
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
Mitch Hedberg
I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.
Mitch Hedberg
I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.
Mitch Hedberg
I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
Mitch Hedberg
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Mitch Hedberg
I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.
Mitch Hedberg
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
Mitch Hedberg
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Mitch Hedberg
I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.
Mitch Hedberg
I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary.
Mitch Hedberg
I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
Mitch Hedberg
I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day.
Mitch Hedberg
I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.
Mitch Hedberg
I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
Mitch Hedberg
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
Mitch Hedberg
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
Mitch Hedberg
I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
Mitch Hedberg
I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.
Mitch Hedberg
I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.
Mitch Hedberg
I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
Mitch Hedberg
I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.
Mitch Hedberg
I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
Mitch Hedberg
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
Mitch Hedberg
I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.
Mitch Hedberg
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.
Mitch Hedberg
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
Mitch Hedberg
If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.
Mitch Hedberg
If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.
Mitch Hedberg
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
Mitch Hedberg
It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.
Mitch Hedberg
It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?
Mitch Hedberg
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
Mitch Hedberg
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'
Mitch Hedberg
My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.
Mitch Hedberg
People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.
Mitch Hedberg
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
Mitch Hedberg
Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1000 of something is too many. I'll have 1000 pieces of noodles.
Mitch Hedberg
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Mitch Hedberg
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
Mitch Hedberg
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
Mitch Hedberg
When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
Mitch Hedberg
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!
Mitch Hedberg
Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.
Mitch Hedberg
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
Mitch Hedberg
Marilyn Monroe
A career is wonderful, but you can't curl up with it on a cold night.
Marilyn Monroe
A sex symbol becomes a thing. I just hate to be a thing.
Marilyn Monroe
An actress is not a machine, but they treat you like a machine. A money machine.
Marilyn Monroe
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
Marilyn Monroe
Being a sex symbol is a heavy load to carry, especially when one is tired, hurt and bewildered.
Marilyn Monroe
Dogs never bite me. Just humans.
Marilyn Monroe
Dreaming about being an actress, is more exciting then being one.
Marilyn Monroe
Fame will go by and, so long, I've had you, fame. If it goes by, I've always known it was fickle. So at least it's something I experience, but that's not where I live.
Marilyn Monroe
First, I'm trying to prove to myself that I'm a person. Then maybe I'll convince myself that I'm an actress.
Marilyn Monroe
Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.
Marilyn Monroe
Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives.
Marilyn Monroe
I am invariably late for appointments - sometimes as much as two hours. I've tried to change my ways but the things that make me late are too strong, and too pleasing.
Marilyn Monroe
I am involved in a freedom ride protesting the loss of the minority rights belonging to the few remaining earthbound stars. All we demanded was our right to twinkle.
Marilyn Monroe
I am not interested in money. I just want to be wonderful.
Marilyn Monroe
I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot.
Marilyn Monroe
I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it.
Marilyn Monroe
I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Marilyn Monroe
I don't want to make money, I just want to be wonderful.
Marilyn Monroe
I guess I have always been deeply terrified to really be someone's wife since I know from life one cannot love another, ever, really.
Marilyn Monroe
I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent.
Marilyn Monroe
I have too many fantasies to be a housewife. I guess I am a fantasy.
Marilyn Monroe
I knew I belonged to the public and to the world, not because I was talented or even beautiful, but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else.
Marilyn Monroe
I restore myself when I'm alone.
Marilyn Monroe
I'm very definitely a woman and I enjoy it.
Marilyn Monroe
I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.
Marilyn Monroe
I've never dropped anyone I believed in.
Marilyn Monroe
If I'd observed all the rules, I'd never have got anywhere.
Marilyn Monroe
If I'm a star, then the people made me a star.
Marilyn Monroe
It's all make believe, isn't it?
Marilyn Monroe
It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone - so far.
Marilyn Monroe
It's not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on.
Marilyn Monroe
It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
Marilyn Monroe
It's often just enough to be with someone. I don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone.
Marilyn Monroe
Men are so willing to respect anything that bores them.
Marilyn Monroe
My work is the only ground I've ever had to stand on. I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation but I'm working on the foundation.
Marilyn Monroe
No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl. All little girls should be told they're pretty, even if they aren't.
Marilyn Monroe
Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.
Marilyn Monroe
The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up.
Marilyn Monroe
The thing I want more than anything else? I want to have children. I used to feel for every child I had, I would adopt another.
Marilyn Monroe
The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn't any.
Marilyn Monroe
There was my name up in lights. I said, 'God, somebody's made a mistake.' But there it was, in lights. And I sat there and said, 'Remember, you're not a star.' Yet there it was up in lights.
Marilyn Monroe
To put it bluntly, I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation. But I'm working on the foundation.
Marilyn Monroe
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
Marilyn Monroe
Marilyn Monroe
A sex symbol becomes a thing. I just hate to be a thing.
Marilyn Monroe
An actress is not a machine, but they treat you like a machine. A money machine.
Marilyn Monroe
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
Marilyn Monroe
Being a sex symbol is a heavy load to carry, especially when one is tired, hurt and bewildered.
Marilyn Monroe
Dogs never bite me. Just humans.
Marilyn Monroe
Dreaming about being an actress, is more exciting then being one.
Marilyn Monroe
Fame will go by and, so long, I've had you, fame. If it goes by, I've always known it was fickle. So at least it's something I experience, but that's not where I live.
Marilyn Monroe
First, I'm trying to prove to myself that I'm a person. Then maybe I'll convince myself that I'm an actress.
Marilyn Monroe
Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.
Marilyn Monroe
Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives.
Marilyn Monroe
I am invariably late for appointments - sometimes as much as two hours. I've tried to change my ways but the things that make me late are too strong, and too pleasing.
Marilyn Monroe
I am involved in a freedom ride protesting the loss of the minority rights belonging to the few remaining earthbound stars. All we demanded was our right to twinkle.
Marilyn Monroe
I am not interested in money. I just want to be wonderful.
Marilyn Monroe
I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot.
Marilyn Monroe
I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it.
Marilyn Monroe
I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Marilyn Monroe
I don't want to make money, I just want to be wonderful.
Marilyn Monroe
I guess I have always been deeply terrified to really be someone's wife since I know from life one cannot love another, ever, really.
Marilyn Monroe
I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent.
Marilyn Monroe
I have too many fantasies to be a housewife. I guess I am a fantasy.
Marilyn Monroe
I knew I belonged to the public and to the world, not because I was talented or even beautiful, but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else.
Marilyn Monroe
I restore myself when I'm alone.
Marilyn Monroe
I'm very definitely a woman and I enjoy it.
Marilyn Monroe
I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.
Marilyn Monroe
I've never dropped anyone I believed in.
Marilyn Monroe
If I'd observed all the rules, I'd never have got anywhere.
Marilyn Monroe
If I'm a star, then the people made me a star.
Marilyn Monroe
It's all make believe, isn't it?
Marilyn Monroe
It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone - so far.
Marilyn Monroe
It's not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on.
Marilyn Monroe
It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
Marilyn Monroe
It's often just enough to be with someone. I don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone.
Marilyn Monroe
Men are so willing to respect anything that bores them.
Marilyn Monroe
My work is the only ground I've ever had to stand on. I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation but I'm working on the foundation.
Marilyn Monroe
No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl. All little girls should be told they're pretty, even if they aren't.
Marilyn Monroe
Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.
Marilyn Monroe
The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up.
Marilyn Monroe
The thing I want more than anything else? I want to have children. I used to feel for every child I had, I would adopt another.
Marilyn Monroe
The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn't any.
Marilyn Monroe
There was my name up in lights. I said, 'God, somebody's made a mistake.' But there it was, in lights. And I sat there and said, 'Remember, you're not a star.' Yet there it was up in lights.
Marilyn Monroe
To put it bluntly, I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation. But I'm working on the foundation.
Marilyn Monroe
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
Marilyn Monroe
Mark Twain
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
Mark Twain
A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
Mark Twain
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
Mark Twain
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Mark Twain
A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
Mark Twain
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
Mark Twain
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Mark Twain
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Mark Twain
All generalizations are false, including this one.
Mark Twain
All right, then, I'll go to hell.
Mark Twain
All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
Mark Twain
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Mark Twain
Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
Mark Twain
Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
Mark Twain
As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
Mark Twain
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain
Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.
Mark Twain
Better a broken promise than none at all.
Mark Twain
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
Mark Twain
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Mark Twain
Buy land, they're not making it anymore.
Mark Twain
By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Mark Twain
Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
Mark Twain
'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
Mark Twain
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
Mark Twain
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Mark Twain
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain
Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
Mark Twain
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
Mark Twain
Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.
Mark Twain
Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
Mark Twain
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
Mark Twain
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
Mark Twain
Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
Mark Twain
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Mark Twain
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Mark Twain
George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Mark Twain
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark Twain
Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain
He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Mark Twain
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Mark Twain
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
Mark Twain
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain
I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.
Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
Mark Twain
I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.
Mark Twain
I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.
Mark Twain
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain
I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
Mark Twain
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.
Mark Twain
I never let schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
Mark Twain
I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
Mark Twain
I've never let my school interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
Mark Twain
If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
Mark Twain
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
Mark Twain
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Mark Twain
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
Mark Twain
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
Mark Twain
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
Mark Twain
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
Mark Twain
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
Mark Twain
It is easier to stay out than get out.
Mark Twain
It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
Mark Twain
It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.
Mark Twain
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Mark Twain
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
Mark Twain
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Mark Twain
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
Mark Twain
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Mark Twain
Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.
Mark Twain
Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Mark Twain
Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.
Mark Twain
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.
Mark Twain
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
Mark Twain
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
Mark Twain
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
Mark Twain
Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
Mark Twain
Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
Mark Twain
Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
Mark Twain
Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
Mark Twain
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
Mark Twain
Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
Mark Twain
My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
Mark Twain
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Mark Twain
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
Mark Twain
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain
No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.
Mark Twain
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
Mark Twain
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
Mark Twain
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Mark Twain
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we."
Mark Twain
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
Mark Twain
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Mark Twain
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
Mark Twain
Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
Mark Twain
Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
Mark Twain
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
Mark Twain
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.
Mark Twain
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
Mark Twain
Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Mark Twain
Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat.
Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Mark Twain
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
Mark Twain
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
Mark Twain
The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word.
Mark Twain
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
Mark Twain
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mark Twain
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
Mark Twain
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
Mark Twain
The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.
Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Mark Twain
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
Mark Twain
The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
Mark Twain
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
Mark Twain
The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
Mark Twain
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Mark Twain
The Public is merely a multiplied "me."
Mark Twain
The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
Mark Twain
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
Mark Twain
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
Mark Twain
The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
Mark Twain
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.
Mark Twain
The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
Mark Twain
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
Mark Twain
The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.
Mark Twain
There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
Mark Twain
There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
Mark Twain
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
Mark Twain
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
Mark Twain
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
Mark Twain
There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.
Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
Mark Twain
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
Mark Twain
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.
Mark Twain
To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
Mark Twain
To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
Mark Twain
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
Mark Twain
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
Mark Twain
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
Mark Twain
Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.
Mark Twain
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Mark Twain
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
Mark Twain
We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.
Mark Twain
We are all alike, on the inside.
Mark Twain
We have the best government that money can buy.
Mark Twain
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.
Mark Twain
What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
Mark Twain
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
Mark Twain
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.
Mark Twain
What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.
Mark Twain
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.
Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Mark Twain
When in doubt tell the truth.
Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
Mark Twain
When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.
Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
Mark Twain
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
Mark Twain
Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Mark Twain
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.
Mark Twain
Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.
Mark Twain
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
Mark Twain
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
Mark Twain
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Mark Twain
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain
Mark Twain
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
Mark Twain
A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
Mark Twain
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
Mark Twain
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Mark Twain
A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
Mark Twain
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
Mark Twain
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Mark Twain
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Mark Twain
All generalizations are false, including this one.
Mark Twain
All right, then, I'll go to hell.
Mark Twain
All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
Mark Twain
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Mark Twain
Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
Mark Twain
Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
Mark Twain
As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
Mark Twain
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain
Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.
Mark Twain
Better a broken promise than none at all.
Mark Twain
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
Mark Twain
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Mark Twain
Buy land, they're not making it anymore.
Mark Twain
By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Mark Twain
Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
Mark Twain
'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
Mark Twain
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
Mark Twain
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Mark Twain
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain
Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
Mark Twain
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
Mark Twain
Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.
Mark Twain
Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
Mark Twain
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
Mark Twain
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
Mark Twain
Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
Mark Twain
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Mark Twain
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Mark Twain
George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Mark Twain
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark Twain
Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain
He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Mark Twain
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Mark Twain
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
Mark Twain
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain
I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.
Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
Mark Twain
I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.
Mark Twain
I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.
Mark Twain
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain
I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
Mark Twain
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.
Mark Twain
I never let schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
Mark Twain
I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
Mark Twain
I've never let my school interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
Mark Twain
If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
Mark Twain
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
Mark Twain
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Mark Twain
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
Mark Twain
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
Mark Twain
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
Mark Twain
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
Mark Twain
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
Mark Twain
It is easier to stay out than get out.
Mark Twain
It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
Mark Twain
It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.
Mark Twain
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Mark Twain
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
Mark Twain
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Mark Twain
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
Mark Twain
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Mark Twain
Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.
Mark Twain
Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Mark Twain
Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.
Mark Twain
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.
Mark Twain
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
Mark Twain
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
Mark Twain
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
Mark Twain
Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
Mark Twain
Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
Mark Twain
Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
Mark Twain
Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
Mark Twain
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
Mark Twain
Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
Mark Twain
My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
Mark Twain
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Mark Twain
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
Mark Twain
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain
No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.
Mark Twain
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
Mark Twain
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
Mark Twain
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Mark Twain
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we."
Mark Twain
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
Mark Twain
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Mark Twain
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
Mark Twain
Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
Mark Twain
Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
Mark Twain
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
Mark Twain
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.
Mark Twain
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
Mark Twain
Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Mark Twain
Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat.
Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Mark Twain
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
Mark Twain
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
Mark Twain
The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word.
Mark Twain
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
Mark Twain
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mark Twain
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
Mark Twain
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
Mark Twain
The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.
Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Mark Twain
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
Mark Twain
The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
Mark Twain
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
Mark Twain
The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
Mark Twain
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Mark Twain
The Public is merely a multiplied "me."
Mark Twain
The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
Mark Twain
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
Mark Twain
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
Mark Twain
The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
Mark Twain
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.
Mark Twain
The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
Mark Twain
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
Mark Twain
The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.
Mark Twain
There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
Mark Twain
There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
Mark Twain
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
Mark Twain
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
Mark Twain
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
Mark Twain
There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.
Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
Mark Twain
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
Mark Twain
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.
Mark Twain
To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
Mark Twain
To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
Mark Twain
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
Mark Twain
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
Mark Twain
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
Mark Twain
Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.
Mark Twain
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Mark Twain
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
Mark Twain
We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.
Mark Twain
We are all alike, on the inside.
Mark Twain
We have the best government that money can buy.
Mark Twain
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.
Mark Twain
What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
Mark Twain
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
Mark Twain
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.
Mark Twain
What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.
Mark Twain
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.
Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Mark Twain
When in doubt tell the truth.
Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
Mark Twain
When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.
Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
Mark Twain
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
Mark Twain
Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Mark Twain
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.
Mark Twain
Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.
Mark Twain
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
Mark Twain
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
Mark Twain
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Mark Twain
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain
Vince Lombardi
A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.
Vince Lombardi
Coaches who can outline plays on a black board are a dime a dozen. The ones who win get inside their player and motivate.
Vince Lombardi
Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.
Vince Lombardi
Dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. Hard work is the price we must pay for success. I think you can accomplish anything if you're willing to pay the price.
Vince Lombardi
Fatigue makes cowards of us all.
Vince Lombardi
Football is like life - it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority.
Vince Lombardi
I don't think there's a punch-line scheduled, is there?
Vince Lombardi
I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.
Vince Lombardi
If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?
Vince Lombardi
If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?
Vince Lombardi
If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.
Vince Lombardi
If you can accept losing, you can't win.
Vince Lombardi
Individual commitment to a group effort - that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.
Vince Lombardi
It's easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you're a winner, when you're number one. What you got to have is faith and discipline when you're not a winner.
Vince Lombardi
It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up.
Vince Lombardi
Leaders are made, they are not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price which all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile.
Vince Lombardi
Leaders aren't born they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that's the price we'll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal.
Vince Lombardi
Once you agree upon the price you and your family must pay for success, it enables you to ignore the minor hurts, the opponent's pressure, and the temporary failures.
Vince Lombardi
Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.
Vince Lombardi
People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or the problems of modern society.
Vince Lombardi
Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.
Vince Lombardi
Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect.
Vince Lombardi
Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser.
Vince Lombardi
Some of us will do our jobs well and some will not, but we will be judged by only one thing-the result.
Vince Lombardi
Some people try to find things in this game that don't exist but football is only two things - blocking and tackling.
Vince Lombardi
Success demands singleness of purpose.
Vince Lombardi
Teamwork is what the Green Bay Packers were all about. They didn't do it for individual glory. They did it because they loved one another.
Vince Lombardi
The achievements of an organization are the results of the combined effort of each individual.
Vince Lombardi
The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.
Vince Lombardi
The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall.
Vince Lombardi
The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.
Vince Lombardi
The leader can never close the gap between himself and the group. If he does, he is no longer what he must be. He must walk a tightrope between the consent he must win and the control he must exert.
Vince Lombardi
The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have.
Vince Lombardi
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
Vince Lombardi
The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.
Vince Lombardi
The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.
Vince Lombardi
The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. That's real glory. That's the essence of it.
Vince Lombardi
There is no room for second place. There is only one place in my game and that is first place. I have finished second twice in my time at Green Bay and I never want to finish second again.
Vince Lombardi
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Vince Lombardi
We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.
Vince Lombardi
Winners never quit and quitters never win.
Vince Lombardi
Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
Vince Lombardi
Winning is not a sometime thing; it's an all time thing. You don't win once in a while, you don't do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
Vince Lombardi
Winning is not everything, but wanting to win is.
Vince Lombardi
Winning isn't everything, but the will to win is everything.
Vince Lombardi
Vince Lombardi
Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing.
Vince Lombardi
Coaches who can outline plays on a black board are a dime a dozen. The ones who win get inside their player and motivate.
Vince Lombardi
Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.
Vince Lombardi
Dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. Hard work is the price we must pay for success. I think you can accomplish anything if you're willing to pay the price.
Vince Lombardi
Fatigue makes cowards of us all.
Vince Lombardi
Football is like life - it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority.
Vince Lombardi
I don't think there's a punch-line scheduled, is there?
Vince Lombardi
I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.
Vince Lombardi
If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?
Vince Lombardi
If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?
Vince Lombardi
If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.
Vince Lombardi
If you can accept losing, you can't win.
Vince Lombardi
Individual commitment to a group effort - that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.
Vince Lombardi
It's easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you're a winner, when you're number one. What you got to have is faith and discipline when you're not a winner.
Vince Lombardi
It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up.
Vince Lombardi
Leaders are made, they are not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price which all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile.
Vince Lombardi
Leaders aren't born they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that's the price we'll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal.
Vince Lombardi
Once you agree upon the price you and your family must pay for success, it enables you to ignore the minor hurts, the opponent's pressure, and the temporary failures.
Vince Lombardi
Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.
Vince Lombardi
People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or the problems of modern society.
Vince Lombardi
Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.
Vince Lombardi
Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect.
Vince Lombardi
Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser.
Vince Lombardi
Some of us will do our jobs well and some will not, but we will be judged by only one thing-the result.
Vince Lombardi
Some people try to find things in this game that don't exist but football is only two things - blocking and tackling.
Vince Lombardi
Success demands singleness of purpose.
Vince Lombardi
Teamwork is what the Green Bay Packers were all about. They didn't do it for individual glory. They did it because they loved one another.
Vince Lombardi
The achievements of an organization are the results of the combined effort of each individual.
Vince Lombardi
The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.
Vince Lombardi
The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall.
Vince Lombardi
The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.
Vince Lombardi
The leader can never close the gap between himself and the group. If he does, he is no longer what he must be. He must walk a tightrope between the consent he must win and the control he must exert.
Vince Lombardi
The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have.
Vince Lombardi
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
Vince Lombardi
The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.
Vince Lombardi
The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.
Vince Lombardi
The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. That's real glory. That's the essence of it.
Vince Lombardi
There is no room for second place. There is only one place in my game and that is first place. I have finished second twice in my time at Green Bay and I never want to finish second again.
Vince Lombardi
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Vince Lombardi
We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.
Vince Lombardi
Winners never quit and quitters never win.
Vince Lombardi
Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
Vince Lombardi
Winning is not a sometime thing; it's an all time thing. You don't win once in a while, you don't do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
Vince Lombardi
Winning is not everything, but wanting to win is.
Vince Lombardi
Winning isn't everything, but the will to win is everything.
Vince Lombardi
Vince Lombardi
Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing.
Yogi Berra
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
Yogi Berra
All pitchers are liars or crybabies.
Yogi Berra
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Yogi Berra
Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.
Yogi Berra
Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.
Yogi Berra
Even Napoleon had his Watergate.
Yogi Berra
Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
Yogi Berra
He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious.
Yogi Berra
How can you think and hit at the same time?
Yogi Berra
I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.
Yogi Berra
I just want to thank everyone who made this day necessary.
Yogi Berra
I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?
Yogi Berra
I never said most of the things I said.
Yogi Berra
I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.
Yogi Berra
I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of answering that question.
Yogi Berra
I'm a lucky guy and I'm happy to be with the Yankees. And I want to thank everyone for making this night necessary.
Yogi Berra
I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.
Yogi Berra
If people don't want to come out to the ball park, nobody's gonna stop 'em.
Yogi Berra
If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be.
Yogi Berra
If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer.
Yogi Berra
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
Yogi Berra
If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
Yogi Berra
In baseball, you don't know nothing.
Yogi Berra
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
Yogi Berra
It ain't over till it's over.
Yogi Berra
It ain't the heat, it's the humility.
Yogi Berra
It gets late early out there.
Yogi Berra
It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.
Yogi Berra
It's like deja-vu, all over again.
Yogi Berra
It's pretty far, but it doesn't seem like it.
Yogi Berra
Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets.
Yogi Berra
Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.
Yogi Berra
Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting.
Yogi Berra
So I'm ugly. So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face.
Yogi Berra
The future ain't what it used to be.
Yogi Berra
The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.
Yogi Berra
The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.
Yogi Berra
There are some people who, if they don't already know, you can't tell 'em.
Yogi Berra
We have deep depth.
Yogi Berra
We made too many wrong mistakes.
Yogi Berra
When you arrive at a fork in the road, take it.
Yogi Berra
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
Yogi Berra
You can observe a lot by just watching.
Yogi Berra
You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours.
Yogi Berra
You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you.
Yogi Berra
You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there.
Yogi Berra
Yogi Berra
All pitchers are liars or crybabies.
Yogi Berra
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Yogi Berra
Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.
Yogi Berra
Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.
Yogi Berra
Even Napoleon had his Watergate.
Yogi Berra
Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
Yogi Berra
He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious.
Yogi Berra
How can you think and hit at the same time?
Yogi Berra
I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.
Yogi Berra
I just want to thank everyone who made this day necessary.
Yogi Berra
I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?
Yogi Berra
I never said most of the things I said.
Yogi Berra
I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.
Yogi Berra
I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of answering that question.
Yogi Berra
I'm a lucky guy and I'm happy to be with the Yankees. And I want to thank everyone for making this night necessary.
Yogi Berra
I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.
Yogi Berra
If people don't want to come out to the ball park, nobody's gonna stop 'em.
Yogi Berra
If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be.
Yogi Berra
If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer.
Yogi Berra
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
Yogi Berra
If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
Yogi Berra
In baseball, you don't know nothing.
Yogi Berra
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
Yogi Berra
It ain't over till it's over.
Yogi Berra
It ain't the heat, it's the humility.
Yogi Berra
It gets late early out there.
Yogi Berra
It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.
Yogi Berra
It's like deja-vu, all over again.
Yogi Berra
It's pretty far, but it doesn't seem like it.
Yogi Berra
Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets.
Yogi Berra
Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.
Yogi Berra
Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting.
Yogi Berra
So I'm ugly. So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face.
Yogi Berra
The future ain't what it used to be.
Yogi Berra
The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.
Yogi Berra
The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.
Yogi Berra
There are some people who, if they don't already know, you can't tell 'em.
Yogi Berra
We have deep depth.
Yogi Berra
We made too many wrong mistakes.
Yogi Berra
When you arrive at a fork in the road, take it.
Yogi Berra
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
Yogi Berra
You can observe a lot by just watching.
Yogi Berra
You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours.
Yogi Berra
You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you.
Yogi Berra
You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there.
Yogi Berra
C. S. Lewis
A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.
C. S. Lewis
A man who is eating or lying with his wife or preparing to go to sleep in humility, thankfulness and temperance, is, by Christian standards, in an infinitely higher state than one who is listening to Bach or reading Plato in a state of pride.
C. S. Lewis
A young man who wishes to remain a sound atheist cannot be too careful of his reading.
C. S. Lewis
Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.
C. S. Lewis
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
C. S. Lewis
An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason.
C. S. Lewis
Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable.
C. S. Lewis
Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.
C. S. Lewis
Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.
C. S. Lewis
Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say "infinitely" when you mean "very"; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.
C. S. Lewis
Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil.
C. S. Lewis
Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities.
C. S. Lewis
Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it.
C. S. Lewis
Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.
C. S. Lewis
Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.
C. S. Lewis
Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.
C. S. Lewis
God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.
C. S. Lewis
Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.
C. S. Lewis
How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete.
C. S. Lewis
Humans are amphibians - half spirit and half animal. As spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time.
C. S. Lewis
I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
C. S. Lewis
I gave in, and admitted that God was God.
C. S. Lewis
I sometimes wander whether all pleasures are not substitutes for joy.
C. S. Lewis
If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning.
C. S. Lewis
If we cut up beasts simply because they cannot prevent us and because we are backing our own side in the struggle for existence, it is only logical to cut up imbeciles, criminals, enemies, or capitalists for the same reasons.
C. S. Lewis
If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.
C. S. Lewis
If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.
C. S. Lewis
It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
C. S. Lewis
It's so much easier to pray for a bore than to go and see one.
C. S. Lewis
Let's pray that the human race never escapes from Earth to spread its iniquity elsewhere.
C. S. Lewis
Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.
C. S. Lewis
Long before history began we men have got together apart from the women and done things. We had time.
C. S. Lewis
Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.
C. S. Lewis
Miracles do not, in fact, break the laws of nature.
C. S. Lewis
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
C. S. Lewis
Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours.
C. S. Lewis
Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive.
C. S. Lewis
Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief.
C. S. Lewis
Reason is the natural order of truth; but imagination is the organ of meaning.
C. S. Lewis
Some people feel guilty about their anxieties and regard them as a defect of faith but they are afflictions, not sins. Like all afflictions, they are, if we can so take them, our share in the passion of Christ.
C. S. Lewis
Telling us to obey instinct is like telling us to obey 'people.' People say different things: so do instincts. Our instincts are at war... Each instinct, if you listen to it, will claim to be gratified at the expense of the rest.
C. S. Lewis
The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.
C. S. Lewis
The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil.
C. S. Lewis
The real problem is not why some pious, humble, believing people suffer, but why some do not.
C. S. Lewis
The safest road to hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.
C. S. Lewis
The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles, but to irrigate deserts.
C. S. Lewis
There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way."
C. S. Lewis
There is, hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes till an entire marriage reconciles them.
C. S. Lewis
Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult.
C. S. Lewis
This is one of the miracles of love: It gives a power of seeing through its own enchantments and yet not being disenchanted.
C. S. Lewis
We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive.
C. S. Lewis
We are what we believe we are.
C. S. Lewis
What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step.
C. S. Lewis
What we call Man's power over Nature turns out to be a power exercised by some men over other men with Nature as its instrument.
C. S. Lewis
With the possible exception of the equator, everything begins somewhere.
C. S. Lewis
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
C. S. Lewis
You can't get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me.
C. S. Lewis
You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
C. S. Lewis
C. S. Lewis
A man who is eating or lying with his wife or preparing to go to sleep in humility, thankfulness and temperance, is, by Christian standards, in an infinitely higher state than one who is listening to Bach or reading Plato in a state of pride.
C. S. Lewis
A young man who wishes to remain a sound atheist cannot be too careful of his reading.
C. S. Lewis
Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.
C. S. Lewis
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
C. S. Lewis
An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason.
C. S. Lewis
Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable.
C. S. Lewis
Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.
C. S. Lewis
Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.
C. S. Lewis
Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say "infinitely" when you mean "very"; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.
C. S. Lewis
Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil.
C. S. Lewis
Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities.
C. S. Lewis
Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it.
C. S. Lewis
Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.
C. S. Lewis
Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.
C. S. Lewis
Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.
C. S. Lewis
God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.
C. S. Lewis
Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.
C. S. Lewis
How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete.
C. S. Lewis
Humans are amphibians - half spirit and half animal. As spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time.
C. S. Lewis
I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
C. S. Lewis
I gave in, and admitted that God was God.
C. S. Lewis
I sometimes wander whether all pleasures are not substitutes for joy.
C. S. Lewis
If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning.
C. S. Lewis
If we cut up beasts simply because they cannot prevent us and because we are backing our own side in the struggle for existence, it is only logical to cut up imbeciles, criminals, enemies, or capitalists for the same reasons.
C. S. Lewis
If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.
C. S. Lewis
If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.
C. S. Lewis
It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
C. S. Lewis
It's so much easier to pray for a bore than to go and see one.
C. S. Lewis
Let's pray that the human race never escapes from Earth to spread its iniquity elsewhere.
C. S. Lewis
Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.
C. S. Lewis
Long before history began we men have got together apart from the women and done things. We had time.
C. S. Lewis
Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.
C. S. Lewis
Miracles do not, in fact, break the laws of nature.
C. S. Lewis
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
C. S. Lewis
Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours.
C. S. Lewis
Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive.
C. S. Lewis
Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief.
C. S. Lewis
Reason is the natural order of truth; but imagination is the organ of meaning.
C. S. Lewis
Some people feel guilty about their anxieties and regard them as a defect of faith but they are afflictions, not sins. Like all afflictions, they are, if we can so take them, our share in the passion of Christ.
C. S. Lewis
Telling us to obey instinct is like telling us to obey 'people.' People say different things: so do instincts. Our instincts are at war... Each instinct, if you listen to it, will claim to be gratified at the expense of the rest.
C. S. Lewis
The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.
C. S. Lewis
The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil.
C. S. Lewis
The real problem is not why some pious, humble, believing people suffer, but why some do not.
C. S. Lewis
The safest road to hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.
C. S. Lewis
The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles, but to irrigate deserts.
C. S. Lewis
There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way."
C. S. Lewis
There is, hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes till an entire marriage reconciles them.
C. S. Lewis
Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult.
C. S. Lewis
This is one of the miracles of love: It gives a power of seeing through its own enchantments and yet not being disenchanted.
C. S. Lewis
We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive.
C. S. Lewis
We are what we believe we are.
C. S. Lewis
What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step.
C. S. Lewis
What we call Man's power over Nature turns out to be a power exercised by some men over other men with Nature as its instrument.
C. S. Lewis
With the possible exception of the equator, everything begins somewhere.
C. S. Lewis
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
C. S. Lewis
You can't get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me.
C. S. Lewis
You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
C. S. Lewis
Steven Wright
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
At one point he decided enough was enough.
Steven Wright
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
Steven Wright
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Steven Wright
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Steven Wright
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
Steven Wright
Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
Steven Wright
Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.
Steven Wright
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
Steven Wright
George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
Steven Wright
Hermits have no peer pressure.
Steven Wright
How young can you die of old age?
Steven Wright
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
Steven Wright
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
Steven Wright
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
Steven Wright
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
Steven Wright
I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Steven Wright
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
Steven Wright
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
Steven Wright
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
Steven Wright
I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
Steven Wright
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
Steven Wright
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright
I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!
Steven Wright
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
I invented the cordless extension cord.
Steven Wright
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
Steven Wright
I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.
Steven Wright
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
Steven Wright
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
Steven Wright
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
Steven Wright
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
Steven Wright
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
Steven Wright
I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
Steven Wright
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
Steven Wright
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
Steven Wright
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
Steven Wright
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
Steven Wright
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
Steven Wright
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Steven Wright
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
Steven Wright
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
Steven Wright
I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'
Steven Wright
I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
Steven Wright
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
Steven Wright
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar."
Steven Wright
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
Steven Wright
I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
Steven Wright
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
Steven Wright
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Steven Wright
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Steven Wright
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
Steven Wright
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Steven Wright
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
Steven Wright
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?
Steven Wright
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
Steven Wright
If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?
Steven Wright
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Steven Wright
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
Steven Wright
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Steven Wright
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
Steven Wright
In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
Steven Wright
Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
Steven Wright
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
Steven Wright
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
Steven Wright
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Steven Wright
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
Steven Wright
My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
Steven Wright
My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
Steven Wright
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Steven Wright
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Steven Wright
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
Steven Wright
So, do you live around here often?
Steven Wright
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
Steven Wright
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Steven Wright
The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
Steven Wright
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
Steven Wright
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Steven Wright
What a nice night for an evening.
Steven Wright
What's another word for Thesaurus?
Steven Wright
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
Steven Wright
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
Steven Wright
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"
Steven Wright
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."
Steven Wright
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
Steven Wright
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Steven Wright
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Steven Wright
Steven Wright
At one point he decided enough was enough.
Steven Wright
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
Steven Wright
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Steven Wright
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Steven Wright
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
Steven Wright
Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
Steven Wright
Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.
Steven Wright
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
Steven Wright
George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
Steven Wright
Hermits have no peer pressure.
Steven Wright
How young can you die of old age?
Steven Wright
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
Steven Wright
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
Steven Wright
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
Steven Wright
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
Steven Wright
I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Steven Wright
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
Steven Wright
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
Steven Wright
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
Steven Wright
I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
Steven Wright
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
Steven Wright
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright
I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!
Steven Wright
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
I invented the cordless extension cord.
Steven Wright
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
Steven Wright
I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.
Steven Wright
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
Steven Wright
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
Steven Wright
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
Steven Wright
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
Steven Wright
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
Steven Wright
I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
Steven Wright
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
Steven Wright
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
Steven Wright
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
Steven Wright
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
Steven Wright
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
Steven Wright
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Steven Wright
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
Steven Wright
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
Steven Wright
I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'
Steven Wright
I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
Steven Wright
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
Steven Wright
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar."
Steven Wright
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
Steven Wright
I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
Steven Wright
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
Steven Wright
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Steven Wright
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Steven Wright
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
Steven Wright
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Steven Wright
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
Steven Wright
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?
Steven Wright
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
Steven Wright
If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?
Steven Wright
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Steven Wright
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
Steven Wright
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Steven Wright
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
Steven Wright
In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
Steven Wright
Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
Steven Wright
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
Steven Wright
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
Steven Wright
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Steven Wright
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
Steven Wright
My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
Steven Wright
My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
Steven Wright
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Steven Wright
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Steven Wright
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
Steven Wright
So, do you live around here often?
Steven Wright
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
Steven Wright
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Steven Wright
The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
Steven Wright
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
Steven Wright
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Steven Wright
What a nice night for an evening.
Steven Wright
What's another word for Thesaurus?
Steven Wright
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
Steven Wright
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
Steven Wright
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"
Steven Wright
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."
Steven Wright
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
Steven Wright
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Steven Wright
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Steven Wright
Muhammad Ali
A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.
Muhammad Ali
A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing.
Muhammad Ali
Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you think you are.
Muhammad Ali
At home I am a nice guy: but I don't want the world to know. Humble people, I've found, don't get very far.
Muhammad Ali
Boxing is a lot of white men watching two black men beat each other up.
Muhammad Ali
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
Muhammad Ali
Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life.
Muhammad Ali
Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.
Muhammad Ali
Hating people because of their color is wrong. And it doesn't matter which color does the hating. It's just plain wrong.
Muhammad Ali
He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.
Muhammad Ali
I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own.
Muhammad Ali
I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.
Muhammad Ali
I believe in the religion of Islam. I believe in Allah and peace.
Muhammad Ali
I figure I'll be champ for about ten years and then I'll let my brother take over - like the Kennedys down in Washington.
Muhammad Ali
I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.
Muhammad Ali
I hated every minute of training, but I said, "Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion."
Muhammad Ali
I know I got it made while the masses of black people are catchin' hell, but as long as they ain't free, I ain't free.
Muhammad Ali
I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want.
Muhammad Ali
I never thought of losing, but now that it' s happened, the only thing is to do it right. That's my obligation to all the people who believe in me. We all have to take defeats in life.
Muhammad Ali
I wish people would love everybody else the way they love me. It would be a better world.
Muhammad Ali
I'll beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on.
Muhammad Ali
I'm not the greatest; I'm the double greatest. Not only do I knock 'em out, I pick the round.
Muhammad Ali
I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.
Muhammad Ali
I'm the most recognized and loved man that ever lived cuz there weren't no satellites when Jesus and Moses were around, so people far away in the villages didn't know about them.
Muhammad Ali
If they can make penicillin out of mouldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.
Muhammad Ali
If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize.
Muhammad Ali
It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe.
Muhammad Ali
It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am.
Muhammad Ali
It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
Muhammad Ali
It's lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself.
Muhammad Ali
It's not bragging if you can back it up.
Muhammad Ali
It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.
Muhammad Ali
Life is a gamble. You can get hurt, but people die in plane crashes, lose their arms and legs in car accidents; people die every day. Same with fighters: some die, some get hurt, some go on. You just don't let yourself believe it will happen to you.
Muhammad Ali
My toughest fight was with my first wife.
Muhammad Ali
My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.
Muhammad Ali
No one knows what to say in the loser's locker room.
Muhammad Ali
Old age is just a record of one's whole life.
Muhammad Ali
Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.
Muhammad Ali
Rivers, ponds, lakes and streams - they all have different names, but they all contain water. Just as religions do - they all contain truths.
Muhammad Ali
Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.
Muhammad Ali
Silence is golden when you can't think of a good answer.
Muhammad Ali
Superman don't need no seat belt.
Muhammad Ali
The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.
Muhammad Ali
The man who has no imagination has no wings.
Muhammad Ali
The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.
Muhammad Ali
There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people.
Muhammad Ali
There are no pleasures in a fight but some of my fights have been a pleasure to win.
Muhammad Ali
To be able to give away riches is mandatory if you wish to possess them. This is the only way that you will be truly rich.
Muhammad Ali
Wars of nations are fought to change maps. But wars of poverty are fought to map change.
Muhammad Ali
We have one life; it soon will be past; what we do for God is all that will last.
Muhammad Ali
What keeps me going is goals.
Muhammad Ali
When you are as great as I am it is hard to be humble.
Muhammad Ali
When you can whip any man in the world, you never know peace.
Muhammad Ali
Muhammad Ali
A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing.
Muhammad Ali
Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you think you are.
Muhammad Ali
At home I am a nice guy: but I don't want the world to know. Humble people, I've found, don't get very far.
Muhammad Ali
Boxing is a lot of white men watching two black men beat each other up.
Muhammad Ali
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
Muhammad Ali
Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life.
Muhammad Ali
Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.
Muhammad Ali
Hating people because of their color is wrong. And it doesn't matter which color does the hating. It's just plain wrong.
Muhammad Ali
He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.
Muhammad Ali
I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own.
Muhammad Ali
I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.
Muhammad Ali
I believe in the religion of Islam. I believe in Allah and peace.
Muhammad Ali
I figure I'll be champ for about ten years and then I'll let my brother take over - like the Kennedys down in Washington.
Muhammad Ali
I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.
Muhammad Ali
I hated every minute of training, but I said, "Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion."
Muhammad Ali
I know I got it made while the masses of black people are catchin' hell, but as long as they ain't free, I ain't free.
Muhammad Ali
I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want.
Muhammad Ali
I never thought of losing, but now that it' s happened, the only thing is to do it right. That's my obligation to all the people who believe in me. We all have to take defeats in life.
Muhammad Ali
I wish people would love everybody else the way they love me. It would be a better world.
Muhammad Ali
I'll beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on.
Muhammad Ali
I'm not the greatest; I'm the double greatest. Not only do I knock 'em out, I pick the round.
Muhammad Ali
I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.
Muhammad Ali
I'm the most recognized and loved man that ever lived cuz there weren't no satellites when Jesus and Moses were around, so people far away in the villages didn't know about them.
Muhammad Ali
If they can make penicillin out of mouldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.
Muhammad Ali
If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize.
Muhammad Ali
It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe.
Muhammad Ali
It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am.
Muhammad Ali
It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
Muhammad Ali
It's lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself.
Muhammad Ali
It's not bragging if you can back it up.
Muhammad Ali
It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.
Muhammad Ali
Life is a gamble. You can get hurt, but people die in plane crashes, lose their arms and legs in car accidents; people die every day. Same with fighters: some die, some get hurt, some go on. You just don't let yourself believe it will happen to you.
Muhammad Ali
My toughest fight was with my first wife.
Muhammad Ali
My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.
Muhammad Ali
No one knows what to say in the loser's locker room.
Muhammad Ali
Old age is just a record of one's whole life.
Muhammad Ali
Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.
Muhammad Ali
Rivers, ponds, lakes and streams - they all have different names, but they all contain water. Just as religions do - they all contain truths.
Muhammad Ali
Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.
Muhammad Ali
Silence is golden when you can't think of a good answer.
Muhammad Ali
Superman don't need no seat belt.
Muhammad Ali
The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.
Muhammad Ali
The man who has no imagination has no wings.
Muhammad Ali
The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.
Muhammad Ali
There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people.
Muhammad Ali
There are no pleasures in a fight but some of my fights have been a pleasure to win.
Muhammad Ali
To be able to give away riches is mandatory if you wish to possess them. This is the only way that you will be truly rich.
Muhammad Ali
Wars of nations are fought to change maps. But wars of poverty are fought to map change.
Muhammad Ali
We have one life; it soon will be past; what we do for God is all that will last.
Muhammad Ali
What keeps me going is goals.
Muhammad Ali
When you are as great as I am it is hard to be humble.
Muhammad Ali
When you can whip any man in the world, you never know peace.
Muhammad Ali
John Wooden
A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment.
John Wooden
Ability is a poor man's wealth.
John Wooden
Adversity is the state in which man most easily becomes acquainted with himself, being especially free of admirers then.
John Wooden
Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
John Wooden
Be prepared and be honest.
John Wooden
Consider the rights of others before your own feelings, and the feelings of others before your own rights.
John Wooden
Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
John Wooden
Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
John Wooden
Don't measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability.
John Wooden
Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.
John Wooden
I'd rather have a lot of talent and a little experience than a lot of experience and a little talent.
John Wooden
If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?
John Wooden
If you're not making mistakes, then you're not doing anything. I'm positive that a doer makes mistakes.
John Wooden
It isn't what you do, but how you do it.
John Wooden
It's not so important who starts the game but who finishes it.
John Wooden
It's the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.
John Wooden
It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.
John Wooden
Material possessions, winning scores, and great reputations are meaningless in the eyes of the Lord, because He knows what we really are and that is all that matters.
John Wooden
Never mistake activity for achievement.
John Wooden
Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.
John Wooden
Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It's courage that counts.
John Wooden
Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.
John Wooden
Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.
John Wooden
The main ingredient of stardom is the rest of the team.
John Wooden
The worst thing about new books is that they keep us from reading the old ones.
John Wooden
There are many things that are essential to arriving at true peace of mind, and one of the most important is faith, which cannot be acquired without prayer.
John Wooden
Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.
John Wooden
What you are as a person is far more important that what you are as a basketball player.
John Wooden
Winning takes talent, to repeat takes character.
John Wooden
You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one.
John Wooden
You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.
John Wooden
John Wooden
Ability is a poor man's wealth.
John Wooden
Adversity is the state in which man most easily becomes acquainted with himself, being especially free of admirers then.
John Wooden
Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
John Wooden
Be prepared and be honest.
John Wooden
Consider the rights of others before your own feelings, and the feelings of others before your own rights.
John Wooden
Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
John Wooden
Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
John Wooden
Don't measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability.
John Wooden
Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.
John Wooden
I'd rather have a lot of talent and a little experience than a lot of experience and a little talent.
John Wooden
If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?
John Wooden
If you're not making mistakes, then you're not doing anything. I'm positive that a doer makes mistakes.
John Wooden
It isn't what you do, but how you do it.
John Wooden
It's not so important who starts the game but who finishes it.
John Wooden
It's the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.
John Wooden
It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.
John Wooden
Material possessions, winning scores, and great reputations are meaningless in the eyes of the Lord, because He knows what we really are and that is all that matters.
John Wooden
Never mistake activity for achievement.
John Wooden
Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.
John Wooden
Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It's courage that counts.
John Wooden
Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.
John Wooden
Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.
John Wooden
The main ingredient of stardom is the rest of the team.
John Wooden
The worst thing about new books is that they keep us from reading the old ones.
John Wooden
There are many things that are essential to arriving at true peace of mind, and one of the most important is faith, which cannot be acquired without prayer.
John Wooden
Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.
John Wooden
What you are as a person is far more important that what you are as a basketball player.
John Wooden
Winning takes talent, to repeat takes character.
John Wooden
You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one.
John Wooden
You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.
John Wooden
Bob Marley
Bob Marley isn't my name. I don't even know my name yet.
Bob Marley
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds!
Bob Marley
Every man gotta right to decide his own destiny.
Bob Marley
Every time I plant a seed, He say kill it before it grow, he say kill it before they grow.
Bob Marley
Get up, stand up, Stand up for your rights. Get up, stand up, Don't give up the fight.
Bob Marley
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.
Bob Marley
I don't stand for the black man's side, I don' t stand for the white man's side. I stand for God's side.
Bob Marley
I've been here before and will come again, but I'm not going this trip through.
Bob Marley
If you get down and quarell everyday, you're saying prayers to the devil, I say.
Bob Marley
In this bright future you can't forget your past.
Bob Marley
Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!
Bob Marley
Man is a universe within himself.
Bob Marley
Me only have one ambition, y'know. I only have one thing I really like to see happen. I like to see mankind live together - black, white, Chinese, everyone - that's all.
Bob Marley
My future is righteousness.
Bob Marley
My music fights against the system that teaches to live and die.
Bob Marley
My music will go on forever. Maybe it's a fool say that, but when me know facts me can say facts. My music will go on forever.
Bob Marley
None but ourselves can free our minds.
Bob Marley
One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Bob Marley
Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you're living?
Bob Marley
People want to listen to a message, word from Jah. This could be passed through me or anybody. I am not a leader. Messenger. The words of the songs, not the person, is what attracts people.
Bob Marley
Rastafari not a culture, it's a reality.
Bob Marley
Tell the children the truth.
Bob Marley
The good times of today, are the sad thoughts of tomorrow.
Bob Marley
The harder the battle the sweet of jah victory.
Bob Marley
The more people smoke herb, the more Babylon fall.
Bob Marley
When one door is closed, don't you know, another is open.
Bob Marley
When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.
Bob Marley
You have to be someone.
Bob Marley
Bob Marley
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds!
Bob Marley
Every man gotta right to decide his own destiny.
Bob Marley
Every time I plant a seed, He say kill it before it grow, he say kill it before they grow.
Bob Marley
Get up, stand up, Stand up for your rights. Get up, stand up, Don't give up the fight.
Bob Marley
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.
Bob Marley
I don't stand for the black man's side, I don' t stand for the white man's side. I stand for God's side.
Bob Marley
I've been here before and will come again, but I'm not going this trip through.
Bob Marley
If you get down and quarell everyday, you're saying prayers to the devil, I say.
Bob Marley
In this bright future you can't forget your past.
Bob Marley
Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!
Bob Marley
Man is a universe within himself.
Bob Marley
Me only have one ambition, y'know. I only have one thing I really like to see happen. I like to see mankind live together - black, white, Chinese, everyone - that's all.
Bob Marley
My future is righteousness.
Bob Marley
My music fights against the system that teaches to live and die.
Bob Marley
My music will go on forever. Maybe it's a fool say that, but when me know facts me can say facts. My music will go on forever.
Bob Marley
None but ourselves can free our minds.
Bob Marley
One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Bob Marley
Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you're living?
Bob Marley
People want to listen to a message, word from Jah. This could be passed through me or anybody. I am not a leader. Messenger. The words of the songs, not the person, is what attracts people.
Bob Marley
Rastafari not a culture, it's a reality.
Bob Marley
Tell the children the truth.
Bob Marley
The good times of today, are the sad thoughts of tomorrow.
Bob Marley
The harder the battle the sweet of jah victory.
Bob Marley
The more people smoke herb, the more Babylon fall.
Bob Marley
When one door is closed, don't you know, another is open.
Bob Marley
When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.
Bob Marley
You have to be someone.
Bob Marley
Bruce Lee
A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.
Bruce Lee
A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.
Bruce Lee
A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.
Bruce Lee
All fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability. The truth is outside of all fixed patterns.
Bruce Lee
Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successfull personality and duplicate it.
Bruce Lee
As you think, so shall you become.
Bruce Lee
Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential.
Bruce Lee
I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.
Bruce Lee
I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine.
Bruce Lee
If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.
Bruce Lee
If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made up of.
Bruce Lee
If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done.
Bruce Lee
It's not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.
Bruce Lee
Knowledge will give you power, but character respect.
Bruce Lee
Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.
Bruce Lee
Man, the living creature, the creating individual, is always more important than any established style or system.
Bruce Lee
Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.
Bruce Lee
Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.
Bruce Lee
Obey the principles without being bound by them.
Bruce Lee
Real living is living for others.
Bruce Lee
Showing off is the fool's idea of glory.
Bruce Lee
Take no thought of who is right or wrong or who is better than. Be not for or against.
Bruce Lee
Take things as they are. Punch when you have to punch. Kick when you have to kick.
Bruce Lee
The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.
Bruce Lee
The less effort, the faster and more powerful you will be.
Bruce Lee
The possession of anything begins in the mind.
Bruce Lee
To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.
Bruce Lee
To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person.
Bruce Lee
To me, the extraordinary aspect of martial arts lies in its simplicity. The easy way is also the right way, and martial arts is nothing at all special; the closer to the true way of martial arts, the less wastage of expression there is.
Bruce Lee
You just wait. I'm going to be the biggest Chinese Star in the world.
Bruce Lee
Bruce Lee
A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.
Bruce Lee
A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.
Bruce Lee
All fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability. The truth is outside of all fixed patterns.
Bruce Lee
Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successfull personality and duplicate it.
Bruce Lee
As you think, so shall you become.
Bruce Lee
Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential.
Bruce Lee
I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.
Bruce Lee
I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine.
Bruce Lee
If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.
Bruce Lee
If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made up of.
Bruce Lee
If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done.
Bruce Lee
It's not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.
Bruce Lee
Knowledge will give you power, but character respect.
Bruce Lee
Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.
Bruce Lee
Man, the living creature, the creating individual, is always more important than any established style or system.
Bruce Lee
Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.
Bruce Lee
Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.
Bruce Lee
Obey the principles without being bound by them.
Bruce Lee
Real living is living for others.
Bruce Lee
Showing off is the fool's idea of glory.
Bruce Lee
Take no thought of who is right or wrong or who is better than. Be not for or against.
Bruce Lee
Take things as they are. Punch when you have to punch. Kick when you have to kick.
Bruce Lee
The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.
Bruce Lee
The less effort, the faster and more powerful you will be.
Bruce Lee
The possession of anything begins in the mind.
Bruce Lee
To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.
Bruce Lee
To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person.
Bruce Lee
To me, the extraordinary aspect of martial arts lies in its simplicity. The easy way is also the right way, and martial arts is nothing at all special; the closer to the true way of martial arts, the less wastage of expression there is.
Bruce Lee
You just wait. I'm going to be the biggest Chinese Star in the world.
Bruce Lee
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